Let’s take a fun little glimpse into my musical history for this Month of Love. I’m going to let iTunes randomly select songs from my entire library and skip until I get to a sappy love song. The cringier, the better. Let’s see how badly I can embarrass myself, or how many feels I can feel. Buckle up!
1. Hold You In My Arms – Ray LaMontagne (The Last Kiss Soundtrack)
Starting off strong, I didn’t even skip, this actually the first song played! This song reminds me of Zach Braff and takes me back about 12 years. It’s a lovely slow song not many people have heard, and should. Overall, any song even slightly related to Zach Braff reminds me of Scrubs and Garden State and all the amazing music that comes out of his movies and shows. It’s been quite a few years since I’ve heard this and it’s actually quite a nice surprise. Of course, it’s from The Last Kiss soundtrack, which is a movie about a dude who cheats on his wife, so… Maybe a 7/10 on the sap-o-meter.
2. 18th Floor Balcony – Blue October (Foiled)
I love this song more than I admit. It’s so pretty and tender and tells such a sweet story. I believe this song came out in the mid 2000s, ’05 or ’06 maybe? Listening to it again now I’m still taken aback by the simplicity and beauty of it. The strings, the crescendos and decrescendos, the timing of it all. It’s a wonderful love song and another blast from the past I’m happy to be hearing again. I give it a 10/10 on the sap-o-meter.
3. Melt My Heart To Stone – Adele (19)
I think everyone has this album, or had it at one point. Adele is flawless, as always. The emotion in her voice is on point. This is the song you put on when you just broke up with someone, right after you pour a glass of wine, and it’s probably raining. She sings what we’ve all felt at one point. The fact she sings it beautifully makes it hard to mock, to be honest. I gotta go 5/10 for sap, it’s just too well done to have that authentic cheesy sappiness to it.
3.5. Boom Clap – Charli XCX (SUCKER)
Okay… see… is this a love song? I’m putting this at 3.5 because I could go either way. I can’t stop myself from dancing in the car whenever this comes on. I think I originally downloaded it for my Wedding Playlist as an upbeat lovey song, but admittedly that was just an excuse because I love it. I never purposely choose to listen to it, but I also never skip it. I think it might be the vaguely 80s pop sound I’m drawn to, because who doesn’t love some 80s pop? It’s a love song purely for the lyrics, not at all for the music, so it’s only maybe a 3/10 sap.
4. Slow Hands – Naill Horan (Single)
This is a love song, but in that “I am obviously going to do all the dirty things to you and I don’t even have to woo you first” kind of way. I love this song. This is a windows down, or top off for me, sunglasses on, summer anthem. The sexy drawl of his voice, the subject matter obviously, the guitar, and the clapping in rhythm make it impossible not to tap this beat and sing along. The raspy, begging, desperation of his voice in the bridge make it the perfect guilty pleasure song. Not so sappy, maybe 3/10… but if there was a dirty-o-meter, it’d be a solid 7/10.
5. Memories Are Made of This – Dean Martin (Dino: The Essential Dean Martin)
I mean…it’s not a typical sappy love song, but it’s literally telling the story of a stolen night of bliss that eventually ends in a wedding, so I guess it counts? Dino’s crooning voice is smooth as silk. You have to bob your head or tap your feet, although I feel like I should be wearing a poodle skirt and sitting at a counter sipping a milkshake before heading to the sock hop. Sap level – 7/10.
6. I Could Have Lied – Red Hot Chili Peppers (Blood Sugar Sex Magik, Bonus Track Version)
See, again, I went back and forth on whether or not this was a love song. I’m going with YES. He lost a love, and he’s feeling some kind of way and writing a song about it, and that defines sappy love song. Still, it’s so heartfelt and sad, it’s NOT sappy. RHCP is one of my all time favorite bands, and this album is up there for top 10 best, so I may be biased here. My biggest hang up with this song is Kedis wrote it about Sinead O’Connor. He thought he was in love with her, he wasn’t. Bonus points for including an F-bomb in such a slow, melodic, tearful sounding song. Sap-o-meter 3/10, upped to 5/10 with the bonus points.
7. Who You Love – John Mayer feat. Katy Perry (Paradise Valley)
I almost can’t even get through the first 25 seconds of this, it’s already too sappy for my headphones. Yes, John, you’re broody and deep and feel ALL the feels… I don’t even know why I have this song! And the Katy Perry aspect is even better. It’s great to write a song about how much you love someone with someone you broke up with before it was even released. Sap-o-meter 12/10.
8. Body Like a Back Road – Sam Hunt (Body Like a Back Road)
This is up there with Slow Hands. It’s dirty, although less so and not at all raspy or begging. I mean, it took him a whole 6 WEEKS to get her number, and that’s class. Still, I love it. It’s another roof off song, even if I have to do 15 in a 30. Sap, 3/10. Dirty, only maybe a 5/10 for his ridiculous similes about this chick… got hips like honey, so thick and so sweet, and there’s no curves like hers in them downtown streets.
9. Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen (Call Me Maybe)
I am almost too embarrassed to admit I have this in my song library. I’m blaming it on my tweenager. Alright… Let’s have a thorough listen before we comment… be right back.
Oh holy hell I can’t get through it. AND I’ll be singing this nonsense all day. So, she’s willing to trade her soul, or pennies and dimes, either one, for this dude but all the other boys are trying to chase her? And he gives her nothing at all, but she falls for him? She begs, borrows, and steals for him, too? Sap-o-meter 110,000,000,000/10
10. The Book of Love – Peter Gabriel (Scratch My Back, Special Edition)
Full disclosure, I purposely ended with this song. I figured I’d include one song I truly love and tell you the little story behind why it means so much to me. And it’s a little fitting to start and end the list with two songs I can credit Zach Braff for bringing into my life.
When Scrubs ended (the real Scrubs, not that 2.0 nonsense), we see a future montage of what happens to everyone. This song plays as J.D. sees his marriage to Elliott and the birth of their children. When I first heard it I was divorced and single, but I always said if I ever got married again, this would be the song I’d walk down the aisle to.
It’s such a pretty song, and I’ll always be happy I chose it. The Book of Love has so much in it, no one can lift the damn thing. Facts and figures, instructions for dancing, music, flowers and heart-shaped boxes, and things we’re all too young to know.
But I love it when you give me things, and you ought to give me wedding rings.
I love you babe! Happy Valentine’s Day.